Six Months

6 months ago, I turned the keys, backed down the driveway, and began the journey of a lifetime. 

I imagined that moment over and over again for months before it happened.  I used to picture my ex-boyfriend and I, all smiles, waving to his parents as we backed down their driveway and headed off into the unknown together.  Obviously that image changed many times leading up to my actual departure as I found new places to live each week and didn’t quite know whose driveway I’d be leaving from.  When the actual day arrived, I left from the driveway of the guy I was supposed to be traveling with, with a dog who was FREAKING out, a day later than I thought I would because of issues with my sink.  Not quite as perfect as I imagined it, but MAN was I excited.  I had the whole world in front of me, with no real plan or direction, and a hell of a lot to learn.

Looking back, 6 months seems like it flew by and yet it seems like those first few days out in Montana were a lifetime ago.  I’ve seen so much and grown so much, I feel like a different person than that girl who backed down the driveway 6 months ago.  I’m more me than I’ve ever been before.  Sure, I’ve learned practical skills, navigational skills, stealth skills, bike skills, social skills, and general van skills, but more than anything else I’ve learned the ins and outs of who I am.  I know how much I’m capable of, I know how to trust my gut, and I know how to sit alone and work through the dark stuff.  I know what I like and what makes me uncomfortable, and I’ve learned to love myself for all the good and bad.

In honor of hitting this exciting milestone, I posted on Facebook and Instagram asking for questions from you guys.  When I see friends, family, or meet new people, one thing I hear over and over is, “I have so many questions I want to ask you!”  So, I figured it was time to answer some of those now.  I got some great questions submitted and I’m adding in a few that get asked a lot in conversations as well… so, here you go!

What made you decide to do this?

There’s a long story and a cliff note version.  The gist is that I love camping and exploring, and that passion grew to the point of doing it every weekend and it still wasn’t enough, so I found a way to do it full-time.  The long version is here… We Plan and God Laughs

What do you do for meals?  How do you eat healthy on the road?

I have a 2-burner Coleman camp stove and a fridge, and I cook all my meals.  I’m painfully frugal (I have always been this way) so I never eat out.  That helps me keep costs down and allows me to eat healthier.  I typically cook one big meal a week and then I reheat it each night.  I know that sounds boring, and it is sometimes, but there is so much I’d rather be doing than cooking, so reheating meals works for me.  There isn’t a ton of counter space and doing dishes is the worst, so I prefer keeping the extensive cooking to a minimum.  I’m able to cook just about anything you could make in a normal kitchen as long as it doesn’t need an oven (although I did just start making van pizza and it’s incredible).  My go-to dinners that I rotate through more frequently are chicken quesadillas and pasta of any kind (sometimes I eat it cold straight from the Tupperware if I’m really feeling lazy).

What did the total cost of your build end up being and what would you say your average monthly expenses are?

My total cost of the build ended up being just over $7,000.  That’s for everything: lumber, paint, rust treatment, solar panels, batteries, kitchen, fridge (which is actually the most expensive part of the van), insulation, window, mattress, etc. Everything! I sold my car before I left, and I put the money from that sale into the build and broke even on cost.  The only thing that didn’t fit in the budget was a diesel heater, which I’d still love to have.

My average monthly expenses are about $1,670/month.  My monthly costs fluctuate a lot depending on how much driving I do, since gas is one of my biggest expenses each month.  If you’re a numbers person, here’s an average breakdown for you…

Category	Cost
Van Insurance	$65
Gas	$265 average
Groceries	$262
Laundry	$15
Gym	$24
Health Insurance (I’m not insured through my employer)	$207
Phone	$115
Storage Unit	$55
Van Payment	$293
Dakota	$35
Misc.	$250

Now this doesn’t add up perfectly, but my average monthly expenses (not including big, unexpected expenses for Forrest or Dakota) for the last 5 months were $1,670 a month.  To give you a little perspective, I used to pay $1000/month just for rent at my crappy apartment and lived paycheck to paycheck working more than 40 hours a week.  You’ll also notice there isn’t a budget for campground fees… that’s because (as of writing this) I’ve only paid to camp 3 times in 6 months.  It’s one spot where I’ve chosen to cut costs and it works for me. 

What do you do for work?

I’m 4 months into working with a company called VIPKID, where I teach English online to kids in China.  The hours are hard, here on Mountain Standard Time I work from 4-8am every day, but then I have all day to do whatever I want (and usually take a nap at some point).  The job fills the part of my heart that misses teaching and I’ve been able to take my job to the woods of Virginia, the middle of the desert, and right along the beach. The kids range in age (for the levels I teach) from about 5-12 years old and I teach via video chat, one-on-one, in 25-minute classes.  The requirements for this job are a bachelor’s degree (in any subject area, doesn’t have to be education-related), so if you’re interested in learning more, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask me questions about it.

Aren’t you scared?

I’ve answered this question a few times in a few different ways, but I get asked about it so often that it’s worth talking about again.  Honestly, I’m not scared.  Now, that doesn’t mean I’m never scared.  I actually don’t believe anyone is truly fearless, I think some people just let fear stop them from doing things, but that’s a topic for another time.  There are things that scare me but traveling alone isn’t one of them.  Sure, I’d love to have a partner along for the ride, but there is something so incredibly beautiful about doing this alone.  I’ve been reminded again and again how amazing, kind, and generous people are. We just have to take the time to turn off the news and go outside and see for ourselves.  Of course, there are bad people too, but there are fewer of them out there.

There are a few things that I do to help me with this fear thing.  First, I don’t watch the news or scary crime shows or read books about girls being murdered while traveling.  There is no reason for me to feed those fears or learn about horrible things that are going on in this world that’s mostly filled with good people.  I have a great imagination and a horrible inner-voice, so I know I need to stay away from those things that would scare me.  Next, I give myself permission to leave.  If something feels uncomfortable or if I just get a weird vibe, or if I don’t have any reason at all, I let myself leave.  I don’t have to justify it.  If something feels wrong, it probably is, and my home has wheels, so I go.  And last, I’ve learned to trust myself.  I trust myself more than I trust anyone else.  I know a lot of that is the growth from this journey, but I’ve learned to listen to myself and know when I feel uncomfortable or what causes my anxiety.  And then I listen to myself, I always follow my gut.  Like the last point, if something feels wrong, I don’t try and calm myself down, I just leave and find a place that feels better.

(Not a question but my most-heard comment) I want to do this so badly, but I can’t (insert excuse here) or “I wish I could do that.”

You probably CAN do it.  It’s all about priorities and then taking the plunge.  Now, I’ll also be the first person to say THIS LIFESTYLE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.  I think this is the greatest thing in the entire world, but MOST people probably wouldn’t enjoy it.  I’ve kept this blog incredibly real and told you all the good, bad, and ugly, so you know it’s not all hiking and beaches and beautiful sunsets.  But if you’re a person who dreams of this lifestyle to the point where it keeps you up at night, then do it.  There is always a way.  And one of the most amazing parts of living on the road is seeing all the different ways that people make it work.  You don’t have to have the sprinter van and solar panels and kitchen.  I met a lady in Arkansas who had been on the road 2 years, she was turning 63 in a few weeks.  She was living out of her SUV, sleeping in a sleeping bag and cooking meals at picnic tables on her camp stove.  We were doing the exact same thing in two totally different ways, but we were both out there still.  My best advice if you’re curious about it… rent a van and take a road trip.  There are many companies that will rent out vans for this, and it will give you a small glimpse into life on the road. 

“I’m so jealous! How long do you plan on doing this?” “How long is long enough?”

I get this question a lot.  And I don’t know how long I’ll travel like this for.  I figure I’ll know when I’m done.  My van’s name is Forrest, which I picked long before I realized how perfect that name would be for answering this question.  It’s kind of like when Forrest Gump runs back and forth across the country and then one day he just stops and decides he’d like to go home now.  I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how it will play out for me as well.  I’m just going to keep going until I know I’m done, and I’m sure I’ll know when I’ve had enough.

“What’s the longest amount of time between showers?”

My record is 6 days.  I typically do a lot of wiping down at my sink during that time, so I’m not COMPLETELY dirty, but I have gone 6 days without washing my hair.  Right now, I’m pushing the limits of that because at 6 days I used my solar camp shower, which is better than nothing but definitely isn’t the same as an actual shower.  I’d like a shower right about now!

“Aren’t you lonely for long-term relationships?”

If this is regarding a romantic relationship…yes.  Absolutely.  And I often think that will be what ends my journey on the road.  My whole life I’ve been a “serial monogamist”, which means I’m never single and there isn’t much time between each long relationship.  Friends and family have always cautioned me against this, saying, “You should just be single for a while.  You need to learn how to be alone.”  So, I guess this is my chance to do that.  And if I’m being completely honest, I’m still really destroyed over my last long-term relationship.  As much as I’d love a partner to share all of this with, I know I still have a lot of healing to do before I’m really ready to open up to someone again.

Regarding long-term friendships, I have many friends who are great at keeping in touch while I travel.  My best friend and I have been keeping up with weekly phone dates for years now (she’s in Michigan), so long-distance friendships are nothing new for me.  It does get hard when I meet great new people and they leave the next day (or I do), but the ones that are meant to stick will stick. 

“Has traveling extensively changed you in any way?  Perspective, confidence, resilience, etc.?”

It has changed me in nearly every way.  Actually, as I type that sentence out, I also think maybe it hasn’t really CHANGED me, and maybe it has refined the qualities that were already there all along.  I’ve always been “strong” and “resilient.”  My friends and family remind me of that daily.  But this strength is even more tremendous than the strength I had when I left an unhappy marriage and started life over on my own.  It’s more than the resilience I had to finish a half ironman in the freezing cold and rain.  They are qualities I’ve always had, but with that I’ve really grown to have a tremendous amount of faith in myself, knowing no challenge is too great and that I’ll figure out a way no matter what. 

As far as confidence goes though, I’ve absolutely become more confident.  I think that has been a result of spending so much time alone and really getting to know myself.  Seeing how much I’ve been able to accomplish and the things I’ve been able to overcome.  Spending a lot of time alone also takes comparison out of the picture.  You have nobody to compare yourself to, it’s just you there, and that’s always enough.  I used to be known as “quiet girl” at a job I had growing up, because I’d much rather listen to what everyone else had to say than to contribute to the conversation.  Most of that stemmed from a lack of confidence and not feeling like I had much that was worthwhile to add.  That right there is where I feel like I’ve grown the most.

I listened to an amazing podcast a while back where this super successful guy talked about building your “life resume.”  This idea is that all your experiences are what you have to offer others and to yourself.  It’s about squeezing as much “living” out of life as you can and learning as many new skills and experiencing as many new things as you possibly can.  I like to think of this journey as me building my life resume.  Already, I’m more well-rounded, my perspective about the world has changed, I practice gratitude constantly, and I spend so much more time actually living. 

“What has been the biggest surprise about your solo van adventure?”

I think I left with realistic expectations about what vanlife would be like, and I think that was really helpful!  I know how to “rough it” and how to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, so most things weren’t too much of a surprise.  But I think one thing that has surprised me is how much time and energy the littlest things take.  I spent tremendous amounts of time each day figuring out where to go next, what I’ll do when I get there, where I can hike with Dakota, and where I’ll spend the night.  Then if I need to fill water or empty the toilet, that makes it even more complicated.  When I’ve traveled and camped before, I always had someone to share this responsibility with and could do some of that “figuring out” while the other person was driving.  But doing all of that alone means I need to have a plan before I leave and then adding in the stress of making sure I have a strong cell signal for work each day, it’s really quite exhausting!  So, I’d say my biggest surprise is just how exhausting the logistics of vanlife can be and what little “free time” I have each day after working, adventuring, traveling, and logistic-ing.

The other most surprising thing has been the outreach and support from people following my journey.  I’ve heard from so many of you in the form of blog comments, emails, messages, etc.  Some of you I’ve never met in real-life and some of you I haven’t seen in over a decade!  I’m always so shocked when someone takes the time out of their day to send me a message and tell me they’re following along.  I never expected this journey to connect me to so many people.

“What’s the biggest surprise you’ve learned about yourself so far?”

This is a hard question to answer.  I actually started writing the answer to this and then realized I didn’t know what to write, so I hiked on it.  And what I came up with is that I didn’t realize just how stubborn I am.  Call it stubborn, determined, headstrong, or strong-willed, it’s all really the same.  I never thought of myself as stubborn before but over the summer I was referred to as “stubborn” when I wouldn’t budge on things with the van.  I stopped adventuring and spent each day from sunup to sundown building the van and preparing to leave.  At first, I was sort of taken aback at being called stubborn but being on the road has made me realize that’s exactly what I am!  And honestly, it’s the most important quality that led me to this journey.  When something is really important to me, I’ll do everything to make it happen.  I don’t give up on things easily.  When my original vanlife plans were turned upside-down, I couldn’t just abandon this dream.  I don’t do that.  My stubbornness is what allowed me to say, “well then I’ll go without you.” It’s what kept me building the van when it was 100 degrees and I had no idea what I was doing or where I’d be living the next day.  While my stubbornness has come in handy on this journey, I think it’s also what keeps me feeling so heartbroken over the end of my last relationship.  It’s hard to believe in something so strongly and have it not work out.  No amount of stubbornness or drive can change someone else’s mind.  And so even though my brain knows it’s ridiculous to be hung up on someone who hurt me SO badly, my stubborn heart is having a harder time giving up.

“Do you see van life as something you’ll do ‘just for now’ or is it how you see living the rest of your life?”

Although this question is similar to “how long will you do this for?” I’m going to answer it anyways because it’s just different enough.  I think at some point I’ll want a break from the constant movement, but I think I’ll take a lot of vanlife qualities with me for the rest of my life.  Living minimally is probably something that will be part of me forever.  I’ll never need 10 different sizes of pots and pans again.  I won’t need a dinnerware set that cost $200+ and has enough plates to feed a mob of people.  And I probably won’t need a gigantic house.  I recently met someone who lived in a tiny house and I didn’t know I could feel jealous about someone else’s living arrangements, but I definitely did!  I could see that being a lifestyle I keep forever. There’s something really beautiful about living simply.

“Where have you encountered the friendliest people?”

This is a really hard question because honestly, I’ve met friendly people in every place I’ve been!  As far as generalizations go though, Florida has the least friendly drivers haha.  But really, I haven’t had any experiences with people who have been anything less than generous and welcoming.  If you just take the time to talk to strangers, I bet you’ll see this to be true too. 

“What advice do you have for someone that hopes to hit the road full-time in the next few months?”

best advice is to get comfortable with the fact that you could always be “more ready” to leave.  At some point you just have to go.  I think that goes for everything in life.  There is always more you could do to the van, you could always have more money saved, or you could have more of a plan.  Sometimes you have to just jump and figure it out along the way.  Get comfortable with asking for help (although if you’re doing your van conversion right now, I’m sure you’re already getting good at that)!  And one of the best pieces of advice given to me on the road (by my fellow vanlifers Jen and Mike) was to remember that most other people traveling on the road are just as lonely as you are, so don’t ever hesitate to go start up a conversation.  Even if they’re traveling as a pair, they are probably dying to have someone new to talk to.  This has stuck with me for many miles and has given me the confidence to talk to just about anyone! And my last piece of advice is to learn to embrace the ups and downs.  It’s going to be really, really hard.  You’ll wonder why in the world you decided to do this.  But you’ll also have experiences so great that you couldn’t even dream them up if you tried.  Take it all in stride.  Grow from the difficult times and cherish the times when vanlife is perfect. 

I want to thank all of you who took the time to submit such thoughtful questions and for everyone who reads my stories and cheers me on from wherever you are in the world.  Thank you!

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