It Takes a Village

When I decided to make this blog, I intended to use it as a way to document my travels and keep in touch with friends as I journeyed across the continent. I had no idea it would become so much more.

Since I posted my story a month ago, I have been completely shocked and overwhelmed by the impact it has had on me and those around me. Was I hoping people would read it? Sure. That’s why I put it out there, right? But I definitely wasn’t expecting it to be so far-reaching or impactful. In the days and weeks that followed that post, I had so many wonderful people reach out to me. I received texts from close friends and Facebook messages from people I knew years ago and from people that I hardly even knew at all. Parents of students that I had in my classroom 5 years ago were sending me emails and dropping off gifts as I finished out my last few days at school. I also had friends and family share my blog on their Facebook and then THEY were receiving messages about my story. I was truly astonished to hear how many people were brought to tears by my post and were inspired by my story. Each of you who took the time to reach out to me after reading it really made my day. But even more than that, it was such a huge reminder that even though sometimes I may feel very alone in this journey, I’m really not.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last few years. I’ve learned to love myself deeply, despite the parts of me that could use some more work. Two of those qualities that I have, for better or worse, are my stubborness and my self-reliance. I take care of myself and do things for myself and I have a hard time letting others help me. The thought of asking for help makes me cringe. Well, this will not work for vanlife. Finding myself in a position of not having a healthy place to live, not having the tools/expertise I need to build a van, and not having a steady source of income anymore leaves me in a position where I HAVE to ask for help. Over the last month I feel like I’ve done nothing but ask friends for help. And luckily, I have really great friends who WANT to help. Whether it be letting me and Dakota sleep on an air mattress on their floor, lending me a ladder to climb up on the van, or talking me through rust prevention, my friends have had my back through this crazy time of change.

In the time since my last update, I’ve been in a constant state of moving. I packed up my classroom and moved all of my teaching materials to a storage unit. I sold as many of my belongings as I could during a yard sale and packed up the rest of them. I moved a suitcase of clothes to my friend’s place where I’ve been staying. I moved the rest of the things to the storage unit. Then I moved everything out of the storage unit and into a garage.

I’ve been so lucky to have generous friends who have been giving me places to stay, but that means I never have a constant place to settle into. I know what you’re thinking, “isn’t that what you wished for when you wanted to live in a van?” But really, the van will be much more constant for me. The landscape will change but I will have my own bed, my own sheets, my own food in my own fridge, and my clothes won’t be stuffed in a series of bags and suitcases. Not having my own space has been absolutely exhausting.

My original “van plan” had me leaving on this adventure as soon as I was done with school, but now that I’m doing this solo, the reality is that it will take me a lot longer than that to hit the road. The build has been a slow process which has been made even slower due to the constant moving around, lack of tools/garage, and my own inexperience with building. Every step is a steep learning curve and therefore takes even longer. I find myself getting frustrated and emotional every time I get stuck on a step or on days when I’m working alone without really knowing what I’m doing. Every obstacle is a reminder that this dream wasn’t supposed to be me on this adventure alone, but that’s my reality. It makes the pain fresh again and it takes me a minute to refocus on why I’m doing this crazy thing. I’ve had some hard days on this journey so far: lots of tears have been shed, cuss words muttered, and there were days when this all felt impossible. But I’ve never thought about quitting. I know deep down that this is the path I’m supposed to be on, even though it’s not an easy one right now.

I’m beyond thankful to have such a strong support system. I have no family here in Utah, but over the past 5 years I’ve definitely found one. Every time I’ve asked for help with the van, asked for advice, or asked for a place to crash for the night, I keep thinking of the quote “it takes a village to raise a child” or better yet, “it takes a village to build a van”. The only thing that’s keeping me moving along on this journey is all of you. Your support, whether in the form of a message, physical help, advice, or simply just joining me on this journey by reading my blog, means more to me than you might realize. The other night when I was lying on the unfinished floor of my van, crying over the impossible task of vinyl planks, I was brought out of my funk by my endless amount of cheerleaders.  So, thank you.

I’ve had a few people ask me how they can help me. I’ve even had some friends offer to start me a GoFundMe account. But honestly, there are SO many more causes out there that need that support more than I do. My situation right now definitely isn’t ideal, but I’m the only one to blame for that. I could always make the decision to go back to “normal life” and make all of this craziness go away. But it was my choice to keep pushing forward and if that means I need to feel the struggle as a consequence, then so be it. There are so many people who have it way worse than me. So if you’d like to show your support, I encourage you to find a cause that really inspires you and donate to that instead.

However, I have been thinking about ways I can accept support from those of you who would like to help but maybe can’t physically lend me a hand or teach me how to build cabinets. And I came up with a few ideas…

• Recommendations! As I make my way across the country, if there is a place you know really well then please send me recommendations. I’d love to know the best local spots, your favorite places to camp, or the best hikes. You could also send me a map with those places marked on it!
• Connect me with people! One of the things that I’m most excited for with vanlife is meeting interesting people in interesting places. Know someone that I just have to meet? Connect us! Bonus points if they’ll let me use their shower/washer/dryer/driveway 🙂
• Send me care packages. I don’t have much space for “things” but even just a card and some roadtrip snacks means the world to me! Sending mail will take a little advanced planning but there are many ways to make this happen, just contact me and I’ll let you know where to send it.
• Send me a message. Truly your words of encouragement and support, whether you’re one of my best friends or whether we are strangers, mean more to me than anything else. You can connect with me in the comments below or via email, Instagram, or Facebook.
• Share my story. If you’re inspired by my journey and think others would be too, I’d love if you would share my blog and help me grow my “village”.

Thank you all for reminding me that I’m truly not alone on this journey after all. Thanks for being part of my support system and helping me make this dream a reality.

“Find your tribe, love them hard.”