After my time adventuring in southern Utah, it was time to head towards Taos, New Mexico. I had plans there the last weekend in October for a vanlife meetup that was hosted by one of my favorite podcasts, Women on the Road. I had bought tickets for this as soon as they went on sale (before the van was even built) and I was excited to spend a weekend with a bunch of like-minded ladies.
There have been some amazing perks to traveling solo and I’ve come to really love my alone time. There are also times where being alone has been incredibly hard, but the longer I’m on the road, the more I enjoy being alone. The times that I do get to meet other people though, I tend to always be the 3rd wheel or the 5th wheel. I don’t hate it because I’m usually just happy to be around other people, but it had been forever since I had been in the company of only other ladies. There is something special about hanging out with other women. The conversations are different and the way we relate to each other is different. And then to add in the fact that all these women would also have experiences of traveling on the road… excited was an understatement. The email I received that listed the details for the weekend also mentioned that this location had showers and I was in DESPERATE need for a shower at this point, so I was equally excited about that as well.
I actually felt nervous driving to Taos. I never used to be very good at being around big groups of people I don’t know, but I’ve become more outgoing since I started this journey. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into though. The meetup was located at a unique “hotel” called Hotel Luna Mystica. It’s in the desert and is made up of a bunch of vintage trailers that can be rented- a perfect location for a group of women who are passionate about trailers! I pulled up and was directed to a big, open area away from the hotel. I was guided to park as part of a little circle of vehicles. There were a bunch of little “van circles” already established and I was in awe at the number of vehicles there. I got out of the van and immediately met the ladies in my circle. There were five of us and we were all doing this vanlife thing in completely different ways. We represented a wide range of ages, driving everything from a motor home to an SUV with a sleeping bag in the back. Some of us were doing this full-time and some were “weekend warriors”. But one thing was clear- we all had a passion for travel, adventure, and for chasing that “something more” that we are convinced is out there somewhere.
I got Dakota out of the van and wanted to take her around to check out some of the other vans and meet some other ladies (and to scope out the shower situation). Vanlife and pups seem to go hand-in-hand so there were tons of other dogs at the gathering. The first dog that we came up to though did NOT like Dakota and they both instantly got snarly with each other. Shortly after that, Dakota had another bad interaction with a dog. This is pretty uncharacteristic for Dakota and she seemed to just be overwhelmed and overstimulated. I eventually put her back in the van, feeling worried about how the next 2 days were going to go after this rough start. I also found the showers… there were 4 total for the entire group of 150 ladies plus everyone staying at the hotel. And unfortunately they were part of each individual bathroom, so taking a shower would tie up a bathroom as well. The sun was going down quickly and the desert temps were dropping, which meant that I’d have frozen hair after a shower at this time in the night. My opportunity to take a shower was looking pretty slim.
That night we had a big potluck and wow did these women go all out! I always think it’s amazing to see what other people cook considering they are cooking out of their vehicles. I have the capability of doing this too but I’ve found that quick and easy meals tend to be my preference. After dinner we got to enjoy a private concert from Ira Wolf, who is an incredible artist and also lives in a van. I wrapped up the night with enjoying too much free wine and meeting interesting ladies before heading back to Forrest for the night. I’m usually very strategic about keeping Forrest warm enough overnight. If I’ve been driving for a while vefore getting to my campsite, I’ll blast the heat for about 20 minutes before I arrive and then as soon as I stop I put all of the window covers up to keep the heat in. This typically allows Dakota and I to stay comfortable overnight with temperatures down into the 20s. Tonight was different though because I hadn’t put the window covers up and it was already really cold. I struggled to sleep and did everything I could to keep Dakota covered up overnight, but the van was frigid.
I set an alarm to get up extra early the next morning in hopes of getting a shower before the morning bathroom rush. Luckily, I found the one shower that didn’t also have a toilet attached so I didn’t feel as bad about using it. I showered faster than I ever had before and began drying off as someone was knocking on the door. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and realized I hadn’t even washed the conditioner out of my hair. I guess I was a little rusty with my shower routine now that I was taking them so infrequently. After my shower, I felt like a new person and was really looking forward to today’s activities. Originally there were 2 options for the day: go on a hike to some local hot springs or stay at camp and attend some workshops. I was excited for the hot spring option because I spend so much time hiking alone and often feel limited with what I can see due to safety concerns, so the opportunity to hike with a group was really appealing. Then I found out that they were asking us to not bring our dogs on the excursion, so that immediately disqualified that option for me (what’s an adventure without my dog?).
I spent the day attending workshops. There was yoga, a presentation on minimalism, a conversation about finances on the road, and a discussion on sexism within vanlife. The conversation about sexism was my favorite. It was so refreshing to hear that every other woman in that room could relate to my experiences. When I first started this journey, it was intended to be done with my partner (if you’rejoining in late, you should read this). When I decided I would still go for it alone, I got a lot of push back from people around me. I know that all of the comments and concerns were out of love, but it’s hard to imagine the response would be the same if I was a guy. While the dialogue of what women “should” or “shouldn’t” do is changing, it still has a tremendously long way to go. The idea of a woman traveling solo is still so frowned upon and stirs up so much fear. It was nice to be with a group of women who could relate to that experience and who also feel so fiercely that women have just as much of a right to be out on the road as a man. I felt so empowered and strong after those conversations. I felt the support of having other women whose family, friends, and colleagues were all whispering worries in their ears too. The sense of community that’s out on the road, even if we are spread all across the country, is unlike anything else.
That evening I got to sit in on a live recording of an episode of Women on the Road and listened to a panel of my peers speak about their experiences with traveling. One thing that had been so amazing to see during this weekend was how many different ways there are to do this “vanlife” thing. There is no right way, no right build, no right vehicle, no right path. It was inspiring to see how many people were making this dream happen for them with such a wide variety of circumstances. Although we were all doing it differently, we all had experiences with fear, bravery, independence, loneliness, and vehicle troubles.
After dinner we had a campfire and a session led by a prominent member of the vanlife community, Kit Whistler. I had listened to her episode on Women on the Road and was intrigued by what she had to say. Her and her partner had spent a lot of time researching the state of being idle, of not doing anything at all. I’m fascinated by this idea, particularly because I’ve always had a need to stay busy. She talked about how hard it is to be idle and how much it takes practice. What I took away from listening to her speak, was that being idle is sort of like facing your demons. As soon as you quiet the noise from everything else in your life, you can hear the things that you may have pushed away or buried somewhere. Being able to sit with those things and work through them is difficult and uncomfortable, which is why most people prefer not to be idle. If you’d like to learn more about her journey, you can find her at www.idletheorybus.com or on Instagram @idletheorybus.
The next morning, I woke up exhausted. I had spent the last two days engaging with interesting women and having hundreds of conversations. Just a few weeks prior, I would have given anything to be this social, and now I was worn out from it. I was missing my quiet mornings and my alone time. I also found out that my dad had been taken to the hospital for a mild heart attack and I was struggling to process this. I was so busy with everything and everyone around me that I was feeling completely detached from the outside world and it seemed impossible that my dad could be at the hospital. Luckily, I was able to hide away in the van for a little bit to talk to him and he was doing alright, but it was strange to be listening to the sounds of ladies laughing outside my windows while this awful thing was going on back home. Going to see him wouldn’t be an option and I would be heading back home in a few weeks, so I did my best to stay in touch and support him from afar, and enjoy the rest of the weekend in Taos.
The rest of the day was spent mingling with other ladies, touring other vans, and saying goodbyes. I was so worried before I got to the gathering that I would hit a rough patch after the weekend was over and I was suddenly alone again, but I was realizing that wouldn’t be the case. As soon as most of my friends had left, I climbed into Forrest and shut the door. I laid on the bed and just sat in the van alone for a while. I realized I wasn’t going to be depressed from the sudden feeling of being alone again, I was really going to enjoy what I had set out to do in the first place.
My alone time wasn’t going to start just yet though, a family friend from my childhood lives in Taos now and I had made plans to meetup with him and his girlfriend that night. It had probably been 10 years or more since I had seen him last, but our parents are still best friends and I was so excited to meet up with him. I texted him to ask if I could bring anything, since he said he was planning to cook dinner for the three of us. He told me to go to the local grocery store and buy some red chili. He left me instructions to talk to a local and ask what their favorite kind was, and bring back whatever they suggested. I headed to the grocery store, parked the van in the shade, and immediately took a nap. The beauty of having your bed with you at all times! After my quick recharge, I began my mission for red chili. I found the aisle with the red and green chili (a New Mexico staple) and was overwhelmed by how many different kinds there were. I figured I’d just ask the first person who walked down the aisle, so I stood there and waited. And waited. And waited. I was feeling awkward just standing there so I set out to find someone who worked there. I immediately found an older lady and asked her what she would recommend for red chili to bring to a friends’ dinner. She told me I wouldn’t find it at the grocery store! Then she proceeded to give me directions to go to a local restaurant and ask for red chili but that I’d need them to show me what size containers it would come in and I also needed to ask if it had meat in it and beans. My head was spinning. I went back to the van, feeling overwhelmed with this favor that was now turning into a grand adventure. I texted my friend to clarify exactly what he wanted me to bring and he told me that he was heading to the store anyways, so I didn’t need to worry about it. I was so relieved!
Dinner that night was fantastic. As much as I was ready for some alone time, connecting with an old friend made me incredibly happy. And as far as the red chili… he confessed that he didn’t actually need any, but he wanted to make me do something to get out and experience Taos and the locals… mission accomplished.
The next day it was time for a solo adventure again. I took Dakota up towards Taos Ski Resort and we did a hike up to Williams Lake. I made the last-minute decision to bring Yak Tracks along, just in case I ran into any snow or ice. As soon as I got onto the trail I had to put them on, it was incredibly icy and slippery. Once I put them on I had no problem hiking along with plenty of traction. We passed many groups of people who were slipping and sliding all over, and even one girl (whose footwear of choice was Chacos) who had given up on hiking and was figuring out how to get back to the parking lot. Because of the trail conditions, many people didn’t make it all the way to the lake, and that granted us the solitude we had been aching for the last few days.
This is one of those many instances of “the pictures don’t do it justice.” Not only was the scenery breathtaking, but the sun was so warm on my skin, the lake so quiet and still, the snow glistening on the nearby peaks. Dakota and I hiked down to the edge of the lake and I found a big, flat rock to sit on out in the water. Dakota followed me out to the rock and quickly laid down next to me. We sat there for a while, just the two of us in the mountains, soaking up the sunshine. That’s a memory I’ll tuck away into my heart forever.
Just us and the mountains 
These shoes have taken me so many places
We moseyed our way back down the trail and the sun was beginning to set by the time we got back to the van. I stayed the night at a free campground in that canyon and enjoyed having a night in the woods again.
I woke up to loud construction vehicles flying up the canyon towards the ski resort, not quite as peaceful as it had been a few hours before. I packed up the van and began the journey to Santa Fe to avoid the snow that was coming that afternoon to Taos. I had hoped to go for a mountain bike ride in Santa Fe, but by the time I got there and found a trail, I started getting that yucky feeling of a cold on the horizon. I had another “trust your gut” encounter on a trail as I approached the remnants of a homeless camp and opted for healing up in the van instead. I found a great spot right in the heart of downtown Santa Fe and snuggled in for the night. I had just purchased a great little propane heater for the van so I enjoyed a warm night for the first time in forever.
Storm rolling into Santa Fe 
Dakota hates storms 
Loving my new heater!
The next day was Halloween. I woke up thinking of all my friends back home who would be getting ready to face the madness of the Halloween parade and their first class parties of the year. This was the first year in forever that I hadn’t dressed up for Halloween and it felt so strange for it to just be a normal day when usually it was one of the craziest, most exhausting days of the year. I spent entirely too much time watching the Instagram stories from past class parents so that I could see what all my old students had dressed up as and I could live vicariously through everyone. I was really missing being a first grade teacher.
It was cold in Santa Fe and there was a rain/snow mix all day. It wasn’t great adventure weather so I figured I’d take the opportunity to get Forrest into the shop. There were some repairs that I had been putting off since I started the trip so I searched the local repair shops and found one with great reviews. As I pulled up to the shop though, it was just in a normal garage, which would be entirely too small for Forrest. Ah, the joys of owning a Sprinter! I had one more failed attempt before finding a place that could squeeze me in. Forrest needed new ball joints, which meant replacing his entire control arm ($$$) and the closest parts were in Washington, so it would take 5 days until they arrived. Not an ideal situation. The owner of the shop told me to just wait and get it fixed when I knew I’d be stationary for a while (AKA back in Michigan). I asked him if he thought the old ball joints would hold up for the journey back across the country and he said, “they might.” He told me he had seen them squeak for years before finally wearing out and that mine didn’t seem worn yet. I asked him how I’d know if they were wearing out and he said, “you’ll know they’re worn when you feel a sudden jolt to the right and your wheel comes flying off!” Great.
I needed a pick-me-up after spending all day trying to get Forrest fixed up only to realize that wouldn’t be happening soon and it would also cost me a fortune when I finally would be able to do it. I went back to my great downtown spot and took Dakota walking around downtown Santa Fe. As soon as I started the walk, I realized I had been to Santa Fe before! Several years ago, I took a road trip out to Utah and swung through Albuquerque on the way back. Apparently, I had stopped in Santa Fe too!
Santa Fe fall colors 
“Window shopping”
Although the weather wasn’t great, our walk was fantastic. I always prefer nature walks, but a change of scenery and a bit of window shopping was really fun. On my walk I came across a huge, painted bus with half a VW on top. I was completely intrigued and crossed the street to look at it. Halfway through the intersection (we had a walk sign) an SUV was pulling up to their red light and then SLAMMED on the brakes, stopping just a foot from us. My life flashed before my eyes and when I made eye contact with the driver, he was just as terrified. I didn’t know whether I should yell or burst into tears (and luckily, I managed to do neither) but as I got myself safely to the sidewalk, I felt like I could have passed out. I swear, it’s not the creeps I have to watch out for while traveling alone, it’s the stupid people! I got to the painted bus and there was a woman outside talking to people about her traveling art gallery. I stopped and talked to her for a bit. Her and her husband, and their two girls travel around in their bus and create art. The girls were getting ready to go trick-or-treating and I spent some time in the bus talking with the family about their experiences. I’m always in awe of people who live on the road with their kids, and there are quite a few families out there who do it!
The next day I started my trek to Colorado Springs for my friend’s baby shower. On the way, I stopped back in Taos for a little adventuring. I found some hot springs I wanted to hike to in an attempt to split up the long drive. Dakota and I hiked just over a mile down a muddy dirt road to the most pristine hot springs I had ever seen. They were built into two, big concrete pools and the water was crystal clear. I was the only person there and Dakota explored around the hot springs while I soaked for a bit.
I knew I had along, dark drive ahead of me, so we didn’t stay too long, but the hot springs gave me a fake sense of being (almost) clean and I was feeling rejuvenated after the soak. I leashed Dakota and we started the walk back to the van. There was one house along the trail, but nobody was around on the way into the hot springs. On the way back, just as we were approaching the house, 2 dogs came charging towards us barking and growling. Dakota and I froze. The two other dogs froze. My brain raced through how to handle this situation. I decided to be the first one to move and I slowly moved and talked calmly to the dogs. They rushed up to Dakota, who was still on her leash, and sniffed. Dakota’s fur was up in full mohawk mode, but I let them sniff for a few seconds so that they could hopefully greet each other and move on. I gave them about 10 seconds, saw how uncomfortable Dakota looked, and took a step away to continue down the trail. As soon as I took that step they started barking and growling again. Before I could even think about how to react, the meanest, scariest, loudest voice came out of my mouth. “NO!!! GET OUT OF HERE!! GO ON!!” I snarled at the dogs. Immediately their tails went down and they took a few steps back (and Dakota looked terrified by the sound I had just emitted). I whispered to Dakota to come as we slowly took a few steps down the path. As soon as I started to turn away from the dogs they charged towards us again, barking. I whipped around and yelled at them again, waiting for someone to come running out of the nearby house to retrieve their dogs, but there was no sign of anyone. Again, the dogs froze as I started yelling and they took a few steps backwards. This time, Dakota was nearly tripping on my feet she was so close to me. I started down the trail again, this time walking backwards to keep my eyes on the dogs, while Dakota’s eyes were glued on me. As soon as I had put a little distance between us, the dogs came charging again. I remembered that I still had my bear spray in my backpack and grabbed it, hoping I wouldn’t need to use it but feeling relieved to have it just in case. This pattern of yelling and being chased happened a few more times until we turned a corner and were out of sight of the dogs. And then we took off running. I checked over my shoulder several times and the dogs had given up.
I had spent so much time in bear country, I had worried about mountain lions, and I had been afraid of moose and snake encounters. Who would have thought that the animal I would have trouble with would be a dog?!
We got to Colorado Springs late that night and my cold from the first night in Santa Fe, which I thought had maybe retreated, had decided to make a full-blown appearance after all! I said a quick hello to my friends and turned in to the van, which would be parked in front of their house for the next few days.
“Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” Henry Rollins.
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Wonderful blog! So many adventures in such a short period of time. Interesting view about sexism on the road. Guess it’s everywhere, but we’re making progress